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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22563877">Burn and break</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz'>Elisexyz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Introspection, Nightmares, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 19:15:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22563877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She knows she can't understand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judd Ryder/Grace Ryder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Burn and break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a short fic written for the Tumblr prompt: <a href="https://heytheredeann.tumblr.com/post/190720909784/i-know-its-a-new-ship-but-40-grudd">"It's just a nightmare. It's nothing real." + Judd/Grace</a>. I couldn't say no, I love them lots.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Grace was a child, she was scared of monsters lurking in the dark. They’d come for her in her sleep, terrorizing her into waking up, and the fear wouldn’t leave her alone, not even when she couldn’t see any danger anymore.</p><p>(To be fair, she couldn’t see much of anything in the dark, could she?)</p><p>She’d usually run straight to her parents’ room, thinking that maybe the monsters wouldn’t catch her if she moved fast enough, and she’d find refuge in her father’s big arms.</p><p>“It’s just a nightmare, it’s nothing real,” he’d say, holding her tight as she soaked his shirt with tears. “It can’t hurt you, baby.”</p><p>When Judd wakes up crying, sometimes shaking her awake in a weak attempt at keeping himself grounded, sometimes accidentally jolting her out of sleep when he sits up or he falls out of bed, she would want nothing more than to repeat those words to him, to soothe his cries with a reassurance that whatever he saw was just a trick of his mind.</p><p>Yet, she knows that’s not true.</p><p>When he clings to her like a lifeline, shaking and struggling to breathe, she knows that what’s tormenting him are the faces of very real men, of his brothers in all but blood, men who were taken by a fire that almost took him too.</p><p>(In some ways, it did, and it breaks her heart in more places than she knows how to count.)</p><p>She knows she can’t understand.</p><p>Sometimes she still shudders at the thought of the horror that filled her when she heard the explosion, when he stopped answering and she was so helplessly <em>sure</em> that he was gone, but he lived. She didn’t lose him.</p><p>She can’t understand, and she won’t pretend to.</p><p>“I’m here, baby,” she says, voice just a little strained as she pulls him closer, lets him bury himself in her chest as her fingers curl around the back of his shirt. “I’m here.”</p><p>She can only pray that it will be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This story is part of the <a href="https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject">LLF Comment Project</a>, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates comments, including:
</p>
<ul>
<li>Short comments</li>
<li>Long comments</li>
<li>Questions</li>
<li>“&lt;3” as extra kudos</li>
<li>Reader-reader interaction</li>
</ul><p>If you don’t want a reply, for any reason, feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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